“It wasn’t MY fault; everything was absolutely fine and going smooth until HE/SHE started”
We often come across people playing the blame games when asked about what went wrong without contemplating why it happened in the first place. The reason to this is very clear that there is a difference of opinion between two people, and both of them are adamant to understand or even listen to the one another. The conflict lingers on until one surrenders to the other and admits its fault. This could happen with anyone and anywhere at work or home, with colleagues or friends & family and no one can refrain themselves from such situations.
A human mind is so complex with millions of thoughts hovering in its head considering that whatever it thinks and perceives is the most righteous thing ever. And this is a very natural phenomenon prevailing in every individual which gives them the power of self-confidence & making an opinion and for them it is obvious that the mind would never make a wrong choice. Since, we are all same so we always support and defend our point of view & decisions taken at a particular time.
There are two kinds of people; one who thinks first, take a pause to actually put their thoughts into words. Even in circumstances of disagreement they are the ones, who calmly listen to what the other person has to say, evaluate the situation to make out the best possible solution. They make sure that there is no room for any conflict and everyone is given a fair chance to say what they think.
The other kind is the one who does not have a filter between their mind and the tongue. Nothing is more important for them than their belief system and proving their point. They choose their ego over the other person. Whoever comes in their way has to bow down to whatever they have to say or face the scuffle. They are not very much fond of losing any argument. However, there are pros and cons of both these kind. One is witty & sharp and the other is honest & unkind.
So how does a conflict start? Let’s get started; there has to be at least two people involved, a heated conversation and two viewpoints. Both of them burning in their outrage put their plea to the best of their understanding and try to defend their viewpoints until one gets proved wrong. There is one another battle fought more creepy than the above where no words are said, nothing is proved after a heated talk and everything gets numb and intense thereafter until one fine day someone tries to break the ice. Many times it is noticed that the thing for which they were fighting is no more important but the way & the tone with which they reacted was more disturbing and leaves the bitterness behind even when things gets sorted.
Honestly, there is always two sides of a story and both the stories seems right when heard one by one which make me ponder on the fact that; there is nothing right or wrong nonetheless there are two notions shaped in consequence of the individual’s upbringing, exposure and experiences. It seems illogical to demean the other just to justify your point when the other might not be completely wrong.
Here comes the art of actually pick and choose what is worth to fight for; a matter that should be worth more than wasting your constructive energy. It is important to address and acknowledge your point but let it go thereafter. The other person would understand if he wanted to in the first or second attempt. And the ones who keep their ears shut and mouth open all the time would never get it in even 100 times. The heart feels the pain, no doubt at that but how long would you want it to suffer. Your inner peace is more imperative than any insignificant event. You cannot enter into the 0ther person’s head and try to fix it. The brain’s gonna anyway listen to its master not you. So why waste your energy?
- If someone doesn’t like you, let it be. Why do you want to be liked by every other person?
- If someone said something bad behind your back, who cares! They are always behind you. So chill!
- If they made fun of you, laugh it out. Even they are not perfect.
- If they ignored you, ignore them: it hurts them even more.
- If they shout at you or taunt you, try to understand their pain, there must be something terrible happening in their lives and that they envy you so much so that they just can’t resist shouting.
Above all love yourself and love the fact that every person has the right to speak their heart out. You need not have to agree to it or validate it right or wrong. It’s not winning battles that makes you happy, but it’s how many times you turned away and choose to look into a better direction. Life is too short to spend it on warring.
Be kind to yourself.