A beautiful face or a beautiful heart. Whats your pick?

It is de facto that”Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder”. But more important is what we want to focus on, is it the outer appearance or the genuineness inside ?

Another undoubted fact is that a pretty thing catches our sight in less than a second. Be it a bright blooming flower in the garden or a black shinny horse in a polo match or a unique lamp shade or a “pretty face”.

Every beautiful piece of art is meant to be appreciated, I completely agree with it.We call them as created with special care and superfluous time. But is it just those pretty faces who’s gonna take away all the limelight always. In fact, these pretty people sometimes gets misjudged of their talents because their  looks overpowers their flair.

In the short term achievements these appealing folks do take advantage over the others as they are more vocal, expressive and know how to get their work done either by hook or crook. These people are considered smart asses and have many followers. They are the sweet pies of their bosses because they save them from the difficult circumstances from their wittiness. They have a win-win situations everywhere as they are getting what they want.

Honestly, I sometimes too want to be somewhat like them, because in the end who doesn’t want to be the cheery on the top, always be a killer in the crisis. Witty enough to not let anyone stand in front of you !!

But, the question is how far could you go by being so mean in life with others ?

We all know someone who is so good at these skills must possibly be a crooked personality and killer looks spices it up. I am not say all of these people are mean, but somehow they are because they must be stepping on someone to get somewhere….. (I know  in today’s world everybody is doing the same thing)

But in the end of the day, are they in peace with what they  do. Even if a thought comes by saying its wrong they fling it away thinking that they don’t have an option. Sooner or later people like them do get exposed and they are left with no one who could trust them. These short term winnings are very small in front of th long term trust that a person with a good heart can offer.

Eventually, its the peace of mind that matters the most. Because people will come and go and your whole life will be spent pleasing them but still you will find something missing always. Because you had been playing with people all your life and then when you pause to look around, your life just looks like a playground with nobody still to hold your hand.

Its good to be ambitious and I am too. But I always remembered this thing in my mind that everything what goes comes around and its the karma which plays its game better than no one. Be it home or workplace do your best but never try to put down anyone. A good heart will never fall down and always remember:

One day a beautiful face can fade away but a beautiful heart will never…….

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The Fault in our Stars..

It is said that each one of us is born with a wheel of fortune. And we will be given nothing more or less than what we deserve. The moment we are born, the positions of the planets and the stars at that time will decide our fate in life. There are 12 astrological sun & moon signs and out of them we are labeled with one of the sign for the rest of our life depending on the time frame we are born. And we are categorized in groups in those 12 signs in terms for our overall personality.

Now the best part is when our parents prepare a “kundli” through someone who can foresee our future by looking at the star’s whereabouts. He has the ability to tell the parents about the fate of the child at the time the baby hasn’t even realized how to hold his pee. 😛 The very name of the baby is the decision of the star’s inclination. And along with it comes various kind of religious poojas required according to the celestial bodies doldrums.

By the time the baby could realize his likes and dislikes, he is already instructed to choose his future based upon the star’s mood. People often go and ask from the fortune tellers which subjects are good for him, which career to opt , which job or business to select, which spouse to choose, which date to tie the knot, their offspring’s name and the circle goes on, all according to the nakshatras.

Well, I can understand the fact that everything around us is connected to one another and the universe has a significant impact on each on of us. But does it mean that we are just puppets dancing on the tunes of a pre-planned show. If that is the case, then:

1.Why do people born on the same date, falling in the same zodiac sign so opposite to one another ?

2.Why do people fail in their careers ? Are they meant to fail ?

3. Why do couples tend to divorce even after selecting each other according to their kundlis?

Just for a second, imagine that the creator has made us and sent us on this earth, what fun would it be for him to watch down on us if he has already forethought the drama. The architect has made  us as a magnificent piece of art with the potential to move mountains. Why wouldn’t he let us use what is gifted to us by him ?

We have the power to impact things around us by our aura rather than getting affected. It banks on us whether to let any other thing control our life or making up our reasoning to take the responsibility of our actions.

We need to understand that it is not meant for us to know the future, for so we will not be living in the present and will worry about the things which has not even happened. Why to blame at the stars for any happening occurred in your life. As far as I know a star is”any one of the objects in space that are made of burning gas and that look like points of light in the night sky”  and they do have a life span.

How would a burning gas of light decide which girl or boy will make your life better ? 

How can it predict whether you could be an IAS officer, if you don’t work hard for it ?

How can it decide whether you could have a chance to visit a foreign country ?

The need of the hour is to get out of the boundaries of this thought process of getting influenced by other things and rather focus on the potential of what we can achieve with the life we have got. Rather than depending on the external elements rely upon your instincts and use your energy in a positive way.

Nobody on this earth can stop you from doing what you want; be it good or bad. So, its up to you how to use your gift. Let the star within you shine bright and let no one dim your sparkle.

And for God’s sake understand that there is:

A note to self..

The day when we are born, the first thing done to us is a pat on our back to make us cry (so that our lungs starts functioning). We open our tiny little  eyes from a 9 month sleep and see the world for the first time. People say a new born baby could sense her mother from her touch and smell. I think its just because the neonate was within her body for so long. And from the mother’s perspective we can imagine how immensely she was waiting for this day to come.

But do you think the baby would know who his mother and father are unless he is told ? The baby is born like a clean slate, ready to make memories from his experiences. In fact, the baby does not even have a name/sir name, language, caste, religion, nationality of its own. He is given all that the time he is born as a legacy and he has to accept it the way it comes. So for now we know that the baby has been baptized and the learning process of the unknown world has begun for this little soul.

As I already said the baby is like a  clean slate with a lot of capacity to absorb things around him. He soon starts to catch the language spoken around him, he starts to recognize people around him. He is a bundle of extreme energy who has to learn so much in his life and the process happens day by day. Soon, the child starts questioning his parents about the things around him and that is the time when either the parents encourage the child’s ability to see things in a different perspective or they shoo him away considering it a stupid question out of his scope.

We are born with a power of imagination, inquisitive nature, ready to try out things even if we get hurt. The battery of a child is always full. But what happens later as we grow? The energy within us seems to get diminished, we loose interest to even question things and accept as told to us. We do things according to others expectations. We think we are living a great life when everyone around us is happy with us and accepts us. And to maintain that is the sole aim of our lives so we continue to do things we did to please others.

But do you think this is the right definition of a great life and are you happy with it? Just imagine the day you stop doing the things you do in your routine for others, Will they still be liking you? You got the answer !!

You have been doing from the day your born what others had expected out of you. I am not saying it is wrong, but where are “YOU” in it. This vicious cycle will go on, you soon be making babies and would be doing this for your children, planning about their future: their school, college subjects, job, spouse and may be their children’s names too if you get lucky to live by that time. 😛

So by now you know, that you have dropped many of your dreams, ideas, imaginations, queries just to fit in with the flow. So what now ? offcouse you cannot change the past but its not too late. God has bestowed you with immense power and wisdom, it is deep inside you. YOU just have to take it out from there. Have conversation with yourself what was that you always wanted to do and just go for it.

I personally have so many things hidden within me that I never realized but reading books took it out of me. I never thought I could write a single line but i wrote 600 words by now. (may be meaningless for you, but not for me). Where is it coming from ? It is my deepest thoughts which I overlooked and didn’t  feel the importance.

YOU are source of energy that has the ability to achieve what you want. Go find YOURSELF within YOU!!! and listen to what it says. In this journey of life do not forget your inner voice. It is always there whispering in your ears, guiding you when you go wrong, appreciates you when you do something right when no one was watching (because you have that smile of contentment when you helped a needy), always warns you when you lie (it makes your heart pumps faster).

Call it inner voice, instinct, conscious,  gut feeling its all the same. Try to listen to what it says and don’t let the noise of the others dull that sound.

Your Soul 🙂

 

 

Black Beauty

Like every other day I was driving to work; when at one of the red lights I was distracted towards a cart pulled by a horse. He had a lustrous black hair with lean legs and fluffy tail (awww, what a beautiful horse he was). But at the same time I saw him carrying a load of double his weight 😦 .This made me feel very sad for the black beauty that even in this 21st century we are using them as a mean to carrying goods.

The owner of the cart pulled the rope that ran through his nostrils and i can imagine how painful that could be; ewww. The cars behind me starting honking as the lights turned green and I crossed the black beauty with a feeling that God please end his misery! When I almost came quite far I could see from my rear mirror how difficult was for him to move forward unlike our cars where we just make an effort to press the accelerator to go on.

Even when i reached work, I could not get rid of his big black beautiful eyes as if saying “What’s my fault to deserve this, isn’t it that God created all of us to be free and enjoy every bit of breath that has been given. Who  has given the right to humans to use us for their good ?”.

Being an animal lover I felt more miserable, but at the same time there are people who don’t feel even feel for humans, what to talk about animals! Even, while having breakfast in the cafe I discussed about the incident with my friends and what can we do for it, however not all could relate to it as I already said its just few people (including me) who feel for animals.

But what makes me disheartened was that; will there be a day when this animal abuse will come to an end in this country ? I hope it does some day!!

From a daughter to a daughter-in-law

I was the first child in the family, so it is comprehensive how pampered I would have been throughout my childhood. I also remember when I was three, there came a small baby with green eyes to our home from the hospital and I screamed to everyone with joy that mommy has brought a brother for me from a foreign country and he is very expensive as he had green eyes, because no one in the entire family had it.

I fluctuated between care and jealousy at the same time, for my brother as I loved him as a companion and but he was getting all the attention which I used to enjoy for all these years. When nobody was around him I cared for him as no one could do better but when mommy comes near I turned my head as I could not stand my mommy loving him more than me. As time passed by this sibling rivalry ended, and we became best buddies. We used to have fun together and  get scolded together. I was elder to him but I realized that he has started taking care of me as a brothers do. He grew taller than me, had a built of a grown man. I felt protective when he was around.

Our neighbors used to say “itna sir na chadao, kal ko shadi hogi toh kaun uthayega iske nakhre!!”  I never understood why these people have to poke in other’s life and comment as if we are just waiting for their advice. My mom was a teacher, she used to go work in the morning and come back in the evening. Along with the work she beautifully managed home as well. I admire her for her management skills. Also we had a disciplined childhood we knew the value of time, things and relationships.

When I started my college I met my husband, after dating for like 10 years we got married with our parent’s blessings. It has been two and a half year since I have been married, two and a half year that I have been living with a new family I have never known before. And suddenly this new family has become my everything. Sometimes I realize why do daughters live nearly 25 years of their life with people whom they have to leave one day.  And why do they pamper us so much so that no one can ever replace them. But still we have to leave them to run someone else’s dynasty. Its not that I didn’t want to get married, offcouse I did but along with it comes so much of responsibilities.

Suddenly,  at the time of your seven vows as soon as your husband puts that kumkum in between the parting-line of your hair and a mangalsutra you transform from a bubbly girls to women who has so much to be responsible for and the journey starts from a daughter to a daughter-in-law.

A daughter-in-law is expected to get up early do the ritual and chores and if working then manage both the things perfectly. She is expected to dressed up well all the time even on sundays and cannot just roam around in loose pyjamas. And not forgetting to mention she needs to be a good cook too.

Somtimes, I feel that if everyone knows this would happen why would your parent’s send you away from them to do all these stuff. I feel like calling my mom that I have had enough and I just want to come back. But soon I realized that she has also been doing this all her life with so much grace and that there has been not a single day that she has taken rest from her responsibilities.

It was then that I realized that this is part of life and this is what you are here for to give to world the best you could. I think now its my time to prove that I am her daughter and follow her footsteps. Wish me luck!!!

 

 

 

 

Too Good to be True…

From the very beginning I was raised (I am sure every one’s also must have been) with the inculcation of good manners, etiquette and respect for everyone.  From a greeting (namaste) to touching feet of elders is the essence of our culture. It is assumed if you do not greet to an elder in the first place you are considered ill mannered and who gets the blame of it, its not you its your parents. But everybody knows the fact that parents never teach wrong things. Especially mothers, she spends her entire life in raising her kid right.

However, its upto the kid how much he has grasped things from their parents by listening to what they teach and what they themselves do. Talking about how a girl is raised, there comes an extra set of rules for them. How to dress, how to talk, where to go where not go, whom to talk etc. Why is it that these extra rules are meant specifically for girls. Why can’t the little butterfly learn to fly on her own with gentle care.

At the age of puberty, these rules gets hardened as if its the show time of how she has been raised. At this time, its the people who start judging a girls about her character. And in this male dominated society this blooming little girl follows what has been taught with so much grace. She tries to be like her mom; obeys everyone, starts thinking of others above everything else (even herself).

Now since she has been raised like this in environment she was exposed to, she now understands things on her own. But the society has something to offer for everything. Now when she has built an individuality and mindset of her own about things, she is reckoned even on that. Even if she behaves like a lady all the time with every person she meets like she was supposed to, or what she was taught and what the society expected, she is judged too good to be true.

Isn’t she a girl who this society wanted to be a women of a substance, a giver, benevolent, warm hearted and willing to please. So now why is it that the society needs to raise their eyebrows on what she has grown up into. Why is it that they seek for one little chance to talk about what she is not good in. Don’t they need to look at themselves in the first place before judging her. Nobody is perfect, that girls must have had some  dreams which she didn’t even speak up. Every decision of her life whether from which school to get education from, how much and how far could she go to get her degree, whether she could work or not and lastly which guy to marry has been done by others. Isn’t that enough !!!

I am not saying that the society is a villain all the time even in this period. Its changing and started accepting both the genders almost equal (I said almost; not totally 😛 ). These little butterflies are trying their best to fly high. Some like Saina Nehwal, Kalpana Chawla, Nita Ambani, Barkha Dutt, Kiren Bedi etc have a deep influence in the society. They have proved themselves no less than anyone yet are so dignified like a lady should be. Every women aspire to make a difference, even a homemaker has the toughest job (24X7; 365 days). She makes a four walled house to a home, nurtures the kids make things easy for other around.

Its now time for the society to change a little more and shift their focus from judging to encouraging them and make this place a better place for her !!!!!.

A letter to dear Husband..

Dear Husband/Room-mate,

Just to reiterate I want to remind you that I am your wife and we have been married for 5 years now.

To start with I want to say “Yes, I am a selfish wife”. I may not be as good as your mom is but I am your wedded wife who has left her family just to be with you and you can never repay that. Its not that I am demanding anything big in place of it but there is somethings I want in return.

I know things have been changed, its not the same like the time we dated. Back those days I was the top priority in your life. Talking to me used to make you forget all your worries. The smile on my face was your best moment. Holding my hand, little cuddles, a long-walk, having a ice-cream in winters, stopping the car aside just to enjoy the rain together were the magical moments we shared and I cherish them till now.

I wish those days could come back. I still want to be number one in your priority list. I know sleeping and physical intimacy is important but don’t let it be the only reason to come to our bedroom. I want you to share how your day was, what are your plans, what can I do to help you, what you expect out of me, when you have a rough day I want you to put your head on my laps so that I could cuddle you to relax your mind. Don’t you think you would feel better ?

There has been days when you came home dropped your bags, changed your clothes and went to the living room to watch T.V and had dinner watching your favorite match and when you felt tired you came to our bedroom and slept. Dear roommie, I want to know that where am I in the picture, I was there looking for a glimpse of yours, that you will look at me and smile but you were busy talking about the shares with your dad and appreciating your mother’s cooking. Is it just that to share a room makes you husband and me a wife ?

When I come from my work, I too wish to vent out my stress to someone, even I could have a rough day. But there is no one I could talk to because a daughter in law is supposed to listen to others what they have to say about their day. And even if I say its of nobody’s interest.I wait for you to come but seems like you are too busy in your own stuffs.

You were a very good boyfriend and I miss him in you. I miss the love in your eyes, that softness in your voice when you call my name, that wait you used to do outside my hostel, that smile on your face when I spoil my face eating an ice-cream, that long phone calls we used to have, that good morning message every morning.

And now its seems like your a different person altogether, not the one I knew. I still feel and I am hopeful that I could find that man in you again someday. I am hopeful that after reading this letter you would want to be the one you were again and I will be there for you always. I wish you will try.

Your wife!!